[Normally, spending the night with Mizu means a later start to his day. Or, well, a later official start to his day. Both of them still wake around the same time as they would without the other, but Vergil's tendency is to linger with Mizu in bed for just a little longer. He needn't come up with excuses for it, of course, but he supplies her with a seemingly endless list of them anyways. None of them are believable as viable reasons to loiter about in bed, and whatever arguments she makes are just as flimsy as his excuses. But this morning, he woke to a message from Nero that he hardly knows how to process beyond feeling his heart drop to his stomach.]
[He knew better than to believe that Kyrie's ignorance would last long. Nero is nothing if not honest, and she would want answers from Nero to questions she likely hadn't felt comfortable prying into during her time with Vergil sooner rather than later. But still, an uneasiness settled over him quickly alongside a destroyed, stupid hope that he might have had a little longer with her before needing to delve into such matters.]
[He stays in bed only long enough for Mizu's eyes to also open. Much as he doesn't need to explain the reasons for staying in bed, neither does he really need to explain why he must go this morning, but he does anyways. She understood and he drew some comfort from that understanding, but it dissipated before the train even reached the mountains.]
[He's frozen now. Just outside the front door, hand slightly raised from by his side to reach for the doorknob. He flexes his fingers a few times, trying to will his arm to raise just a little further so he can get his hand on the doorknob and then he can set about willing his legs to move forward and take those steps forward. Nothing really works as far as tricking himself into doing it, not even trying to assure himself that he may still yet possess a few hours because Kyrie isn't likely awake yet given that she was seemingly coming down with a cold and whatever...the night's activities entailed. It's frustrating if not altogether maddening just how difficult the task of opening the door feels. Vergil glares at the doorknob as though it committed some sort of personal offense towards him before closing his eyes and drawing a deep breath. Holding it for a just a second or two, Vergil opens his eyes and slowly lets the breath go as he opens the door and steps inside to the quiet house.]
[Looking across from the entryway to the other side of the living room, he sees that Nero's (and now Kyrie's) bedroom door is closed. He breathes a small sigh of relief as he steps into the living room with the intention of turning towards his own bedroom except... Vergil stops where he is. There's a pair of eyes on him. He stands ramrod straight and still save the slight turn of his head. She's not in his peripheral vision, but he knows she's standing there somewhere in vicinity of the kitchen.]
[He walks to the couch rather than his bedroom, setting Yamato to lean against it before turning towards kitchen. Vergil looks at the floor rather than into the kitchen proper, resting his hand on the back of the couch, brushing and picking at imaginary dirt to keep from fidgeting any further.]
[Despite being completely exhausted and sleeping quite deeply when sleep finally found her, Kyrie is an instinctual early riser and finds herself awake long before Nero, who was conked out beside her with his arm draped over her waist, completely oblivious to the fact that he was being watched intently and adoringly by his girlfriend as he slept.
Eventually, she finds herself feeling restless and thirsty and manages to ease her way out of Nero's embrace, brushing the ghost of a kiss across his lips as she leaves the bed. Unsure of who's home, she dresses before heading to the kitchen to make some tea, readopting Nero's hoodie from the night before as a way of keeping him with her until he wakes up again. It's almost like wearing a hug, and she knows for a fact he will tease her for being a complete softie but she will certainly give as good as she gets if it happens.
She sets the kettle to boil as she begins searching as quietly as she can for teacups and teabags. Everything in the kitchen seems to be arranged in a sensible, logical way and she soon finds herself nursing a cup of Earl Grey and lemon, hoping it will soothe the scratchy throat she's woken up with and make her feel a bit less fuzzy headed. The house is quiet, not a soul besides herself is stirring and she enjoys the peace, savouring the aroma of her tea and the way the rosy morning light begins to brighten as the sun climbs.
And then she hears the door open and someone walk in.
It becomes apparent fairly soon who it is.
Kyrie is frozen to the spot, her eyes laser focused on Vergil as he moves into the space and then stops and straightens. Her stomach feels like it's tied in knots and she finds herself fighting the urge to abandon her tea and bolt back to the safety of her room and Nero where she won't have to deal with this. It's too soon, she doesn't know how to put her thoughts in order, let alone confront the very complicated feelings the revelations of the night before have brought out.
This man is Nero's father, and not so long ago (to her) he tore his son's arm off and left him to die on the floor of their garage.
It would be easier to pretend she doesn't know, to let herself observe and come to her own conclusions before she has that conversation and she's all but resolved to play it that way, but then Vergil speaks and that option is taken away from her.
He said you wished to hear me out.
It says something that Nero has already been in touch with him. She's not sure when that happened, how it had escaped her notice, and she has a brief, uncomfortable feeling like jealousy that there's someone else that Nero is sharing their conversations with. Immediately she berates herself for that; she's been so lucky to be foremost in Nero's affections for so long that she's just going to have to get used to sharing him with someone else he loves. It will be an adjustment.
At least she hasn't tried to kill him.
Again, she's appalled at how prickly her thoughts feel.
She hates confrontation, she hates getting into the weeds with something she doesn't know how to overcome, and this just might be one of the weediest patches she's found herself in.
She sets her tea aside, draws herself upright and takes a deep breath, trying very hard to keep her voice steady. Somehow this is even more intimidating that singing in front of a whole congregation; at least then there had been words and a melody to follow. No one has written a score for this.]
That's right. I do.
[She takes the steady delivery of her words without a single tremor to be a small win. Who knows how long it will last?]
[Unlike Kyrie, Vergil has had ample time and opportunity to think about this conversation, to organize his thoughts and words into something as close to palatable as they can be. But he imagined the circumstances to be different than this. He didn't envision Kyrie being here at all, but especially not him being the one to find her if she were to show up. Vergil swallows thickly as he debates where exactly to start.]
I apologize for not saying anything before. You do not owe me any benefit of the doubt, but I was not looking to hide or otherwise obfuscate anything from you out of some malicious intent. [Vergil lifts his gaze to her then, hand stilling on the back of the couch.] I... [He glances away briefly again, looking to the closed door of Nero and Kyrie's bedroom before he looks back at her.] I was focused on returning you to Nero, and did not want you to give you cause to be afraid of me in pursuit of that end.
[And he still does not want her to be afraid of him. There's a crease in his brow, but his expression is not one stemming from anger or defensiveness. Vergil guards as much of his expression as he can, but his anxiety about all of this isn't something he's able to suppress entirely. Even if he does not exactly slouch or shrink himself into a smaller presence, Vergil still keeps his distance, remaining near to the couch rather than stepping closer to her.]
I also wish to...preface...my explanation that it is not my expectation that anything I say will be...satisfactory to you. Nero has forgiven me and chose to build trust within our relationship. But I can assure you that I do not understand his forgiveness any better than you likely do beyond that Nero's capacity for love runs far deeper than any of us should ever likely come to possess. Thus, I hold no anticipation that you should offer me the same forgiveness or willingness to build trust as he did. [He stops short of making some offer to keep his distance if only because... He can't. There was a time when Vergil would have readily accepted it if Nero hated him. If Nero made the demand that Vergil keep his distance and leave him be, he would have done as he was told regardless of how much his heart would have ached at the loss over someone and something he never truly knew. But now? He would not look at Kyrie as an obstacle per se and certainly wouldn't take actions to remove her as one. But he would still fight like hell to have his son, to have something of what they have still remain even at a more controlled distance.] What you do in light of what I say is ultimately your decision. And that is my only intention here and now regardless of what I would prefer as an outcome.
[Honestly? She doesn't know where to start. She watches Vergil carefully, like a rabbit eyeing up a fox, not sure whether to bolt back to the bedroom and Nero as a buffer or to stay right where she is. She wonders whether or not someone as powerful as Vergil has increased hearing because if he does, she's certain he'll be able to hear her heart thundering in her chest.
Calm. Calm.
Thankfully, the first apology is something she can easily offer forgiveness for and she lets a little of the tension leave her shoulders as she answers.]
I understand why you would do that and I don't think I can fault you for keeping that to yourself when we met. You wanted me to trust you and get me home, you looked out for me and I'm grateful for that kindness. Thank you.
[She's proud of herself for being able to stay calm and confident in her answer, even if she feels the complete opposite. Her tone is polite and she does mean what she says. She accepts that apology.
There's a crease in Vergil's brow that's all too familiar, even if she's never seen it on him before. He's anxious and she knows it too well from years of watching Nero.
It's somewhat comforting to see that Vergil's nervous. It's humanizing.
For all that he's matter-of-fact, there's something defensive about his words and she listens, her hands by her side, expression neutral. Something about this reminds her of being before a particularly strict teacher or an instructor, that her opinion at this point is insignificant and that she should listen and there will be consequences she may not like should she interrupt. So she listens, hearing him tell her that he doesn't expect her to accept his words and that he doesn't understand Nero's ability to forgive him and she finds herself wanting to laugh bitterly at that.
Nero embodies everything she was brought up to believe was holy. The Order may have fallen but her faith in what it was founded on, on the belief in a good world whose foundations lay in the example set by Vergil's own father for what it meant to fight for humanity, that faith has never shaken. She has to believe in the goodness in something, and it helps when people like Nero and Dante and all those who fight for the same thing exist to protect it. Listening to him now, talking about Nero's capacity for love, she suspects that he's probably right. He amazes her, and after last night, listening to him pour his heart out to her about the complicated journey he's been on to reach this point with his father, she's humbled by the strength and resilience of him anew.
Kyrie glances at her feet and tucks her hair behind her ears.]
I will listen to what you have to say and I won't interrupt, but I would like to ask that you offer me the same courtesy with whatever I have to say in response, and answer any questions I might have truthfully. Does that sound like a fair exchange?
[It's not reflected in his expression at all, but Vergil is pleased when she accepts the first apology. Kyrie is an emotional young woman, that much is absolutely for certain, but she doesn't appear to be unreasonable in Vergil's experience of her thus far. Still, it's encouraging to know that she understands his need to be more pragmatic rather than immediately the most honest with her in the beginning, and it's good that she recognizes his intentions were not based in intentional deception for the sake of it or for his own benefit. He nods slightly at the boundaries she sets in how they will talk about this.]
Yes.
[It's fair. And it means it will be far less likely that uglier emotions will slip from him as it had that day with Nero. It still all worked out with Nero despite, but... Vergil was far less confident that would be the case with Kyrie. He tugs a little at his collar as he steps around to sit on the couch. Or, more accurately, he perches on the very edge of a couch cushion, holding his hand in front of himself with his elbows rested on his knees. He draws a few deep breaths, silent for the moment as he organizes his thoughts and tries to find the best place to begin. Nero said he told Kyrie everything, but there are things Nero does not know—things Vergil does not wish to speak of to anyone—and Nero likely holds his own biases as far as what he feels is important to be shared.]
I am not certain what exactly Nero said to you, but given that you're willing to hear me out, I imagine he told you I was dying when I attacked him. [Vergil draws another steadying breath before saying,] I had spent nearly the entirety of Nero's life in the Underworld. The specifics of what happened there matters little beyond that I was rapidly running out of time when I attacked Nero for the Yamato. I did not know who he was to me, but even if I had, I do not know I would have been in the state of mind to see more than an obstacle standing in the way of my survival.
[Vergil knows acknowledging that piece of information is not liable to win him any favors with Kyrie, but it was the honest truth he provided Nero when they discussed this before. He cannot provide a detail like that to Nero, but keep it from Kyrie.]
My intention was solely to reclaim the Yamato as quickly as possible before I lost the strength to wield it. Whether Nero lived or died at the time was of no consequence to me. [Vergil shakes his head a little and lifts his gaze back up to Kyrie.] I have not and will not apologize for prioritizing or desiring my survival. But there shall never be a day that goes by that I do not regret the harm I inflicted on Nero. Regardless of my reasons for it, the truth remains that I selfishly maimed him and left him to die.
[Swallowing thickly, Vergil's gaze drops to the floor for a moment before he makes himself look at her again. He doesn't particularly want to with the amount of shame and guilt that rise up within him, that will always be with him every time he thinks of that day in the garage when he stole the Yamato back. Nero has forgiven him. But Vergil? Vergil hasn't forgiven himself. He doesn't really think it's possible. The only thing he can do is not allow himself to dwell on it in such a way that he would chance missing out on what's in front of him. They moved past it. Together. But there's another sense of shame and guilt that comes up when he looks at Kyrie now, one that he doesn't know right now if he will be able to move past with her. A potential fact that he only has himself to blame for as much as he wishes there was something or someone else to heap it onto.]
I still almost took him away from you. And for that, I am sorry, Kyrie. [He purses his lips slightly.] I know what it is to have a loved one violently ripped away from you and to find yourself alone. It's... [Words fail him that Vergil almost feels he doesn't even know what he was about to say. He shakes his head a little, dismissing whatever the rest of that sentence would have been as unimportant and not the point.] I had no right to place you that fear within you that day, let alone possibly make you live through it. You did not deserve that any more than the physical harm Nero had to endure at my hand.
["...an obstacle standing in the way of my survival."
How strange, Kyrie thinks, that someone can look at another person and think of them not as a being with a soul and hopes and dreams and a will to live, but as an obstacle. It's even stranger to her that someone could think that way about Nero, the strongest person she knows. To just overlook him like that... how strong must Vergil be to be that assured of his own prowess, even while dying?
She knows. She knows from the stains she still can't scrub from the concrete even after months and buckets of bleach.
How broken a soul was he for him to admit that even if he had known Nero's relation to him, it would have likely made little difference to him?
It feels strangely impersonal and detached from the situation to be standing away from him but she's frozen where she stands, listening intently, her own expression schooled into as calm a face as she can muster. So much of what he says makes her blood boil and her fingers curl up into fists, the edges of her nails digging into her palms to keep her from breaking her word and interjecting in her anger.
He says he knows what it is to lose a love one. To feel alone. She's fortunate that through all her losses, through each heartbreak she's had to face in her life, she's never been alone. She's always had that one constant by her side from the time they were very small, always looking out for her, always protecting her and soothing away her pain. The pain of losing her parents, losing Credo, Nero's been with her throughout it all. And it's not just her, he's been there for their foster boys, for Kyle and Julio and Carlo. He's their hero. Their funny little found family depends on him as the protector, the goofball with terrible jokes, the one who throws a ball about in the yard, the one who checks for monsters under Julio's bed and promises to take out anything that comes out of the shadows. How would those children cope losing another parental figure? Kyrie's lived through that pain Vergil speaks of before, but it's only because of Nero that she's been able to survive it.
She still feels sick to the stomach at the thought of having to endure that agony without him.
True to her word, she holds her tongue and her place and continues to watch Vergil, waiting to hear if there's more to come.]
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morning after arrival
[He knew better than to believe that Kyrie's ignorance would last long. Nero is nothing if not honest, and she would want answers from Nero to questions she likely hadn't felt comfortable prying into during her time with Vergil sooner rather than later. But still, an uneasiness settled over him quickly alongside a destroyed, stupid hope that he might have had a little longer with her before needing to delve into such matters.]
[He stays in bed only long enough for Mizu's eyes to also open. Much as he doesn't need to explain the reasons for staying in bed, neither does he really need to explain why he must go this morning, but he does anyways. She understood and he drew some comfort from that understanding, but it dissipated before the train even reached the mountains.]
[He's frozen now. Just outside the front door, hand slightly raised from by his side to reach for the doorknob. He flexes his fingers a few times, trying to will his arm to raise just a little further so he can get his hand on the doorknob and then he can set about willing his legs to move forward and take those steps forward. Nothing really works as far as tricking himself into doing it, not even trying to assure himself that he may still yet possess a few hours because Kyrie isn't likely awake yet given that she was seemingly coming down with a cold and whatever...the night's activities entailed. It's frustrating if not altogether maddening just how difficult the task of opening the door feels. Vergil glares at the doorknob as though it committed some sort of personal offense towards him before closing his eyes and drawing a deep breath. Holding it for a just a second or two, Vergil opens his eyes and slowly lets the breath go as he opens the door and steps inside to the quiet house.]
[Looking across from the entryway to the other side of the living room, he sees that Nero's (and now Kyrie's) bedroom door is closed. He breathes a small sigh of relief as he steps into the living room with the intention of turning towards his own bedroom except... Vergil stops where he is. There's a pair of eyes on him. He stands ramrod straight and still save the slight turn of his head. She's not in his peripheral vision, but he knows she's standing there somewhere in vicinity of the kitchen.]
[He walks to the couch rather than his bedroom, setting Yamato to lean against it before turning towards kitchen. Vergil looks at the floor rather than into the kitchen proper, resting his hand on the back of the couch, brushing and picking at imaginary dirt to keep from fidgeting any further.]
He said you wished to hear me out.
no subject
Eventually, she finds herself feeling restless and thirsty and manages to ease her way out of Nero's embrace, brushing the ghost of a kiss across his lips as she leaves the bed. Unsure of who's home, she dresses before heading to the kitchen to make some tea, readopting Nero's hoodie from the night before as a way of keeping him with her until he wakes up again. It's almost like wearing a hug, and she knows for a fact he will tease her for being a complete softie but she will certainly give as good as she gets if it happens.
She sets the kettle to boil as she begins searching as quietly as she can for teacups and teabags. Everything in the kitchen seems to be arranged in a sensible, logical way and she soon finds herself nursing a cup of Earl Grey and lemon, hoping it will soothe the scratchy throat she's woken up with and make her feel a bit less fuzzy headed. The house is quiet, not a soul besides herself is stirring and she enjoys the peace, savouring the aroma of her tea and the way the rosy morning light begins to brighten as the sun climbs.
And then she hears the door open and someone walk in.
It becomes apparent fairly soon who it is.
Kyrie is frozen to the spot, her eyes laser focused on Vergil as he moves into the space and then stops and straightens. Her stomach feels like it's tied in knots and she finds herself fighting the urge to abandon her tea and bolt back to the safety of her room and Nero where she won't have to deal with this. It's too soon, she doesn't know how to put her thoughts in order, let alone confront the very complicated feelings the revelations of the night before have brought out.
This man is Nero's father, and not so long ago (to her) he tore his son's arm off and left him to die on the floor of their garage.
It would be easier to pretend she doesn't know, to let herself observe and come to her own conclusions before she has that conversation and she's all but resolved to play it that way, but then Vergil speaks and that option is taken away from her.
He said you wished to hear me out.
It says something that Nero has already been in touch with him. She's not sure when that happened, how it had escaped her notice, and she has a brief, uncomfortable feeling like jealousy that there's someone else that Nero is sharing their conversations with. Immediately she berates herself for that; she's been so lucky to be foremost in Nero's affections for so long that she's just going to have to get used to sharing him with someone else he loves. It will be an adjustment.
At least she hasn't tried to kill him.
Again, she's appalled at how prickly her thoughts feel.
She hates confrontation, she hates getting into the weeds with something she doesn't know how to overcome, and this just might be one of the weediest patches she's found herself in.
She sets her tea aside, draws herself upright and takes a deep breath, trying very hard to keep her voice steady. Somehow this is even more intimidating that singing in front of a whole congregation; at least then there had been words and a melody to follow. No one has written a score for this.]
That's right. I do.
[She takes the steady delivery of her words without a single tremor to be a small win. Who knows how long it will last?]
no subject
I apologize for not saying anything before. You do not owe me any benefit of the doubt, but I was not looking to hide or otherwise obfuscate anything from you out of some malicious intent. [Vergil lifts his gaze to her then, hand stilling on the back of the couch.] I... [He glances away briefly again, looking to the closed door of Nero and Kyrie's bedroom before he looks back at her.] I was focused on returning you to Nero, and did not want you to give you cause to be afraid of me in pursuit of that end.
[And he still does not want her to be afraid of him. There's a crease in his brow, but his expression is not one stemming from anger or defensiveness. Vergil guards as much of his expression as he can, but his anxiety about all of this isn't something he's able to suppress entirely. Even if he does not exactly slouch or shrink himself into a smaller presence, Vergil still keeps his distance, remaining near to the couch rather than stepping closer to her.]
I also wish to...preface...my explanation that it is not my expectation that anything I say will be...satisfactory to you. Nero has forgiven me and chose to build trust within our relationship. But I can assure you that I do not understand his forgiveness any better than you likely do beyond that Nero's capacity for love runs far deeper than any of us should ever likely come to possess. Thus, I hold no anticipation that you should offer me the same forgiveness or willingness to build trust as he did. [He stops short of making some offer to keep his distance if only because... He can't. There was a time when Vergil would have readily accepted it if Nero hated him. If Nero made the demand that Vergil keep his distance and leave him be, he would have done as he was told regardless of how much his heart would have ached at the loss over someone and something he never truly knew. But now? He would not look at Kyrie as an obstacle per se and certainly wouldn't take actions to remove her as one. But he would still fight like hell to have his son, to have something of what they have still remain even at a more controlled distance.] What you do in light of what I say is ultimately your decision. And that is my only intention here and now regardless of what I would prefer as an outcome.
no subject
Calm. Calm.
Thankfully, the first apology is something she can easily offer forgiveness for and she lets a little of the tension leave her shoulders as she answers.]
I understand why you would do that and I don't think I can fault you for keeping that to yourself when we met. You wanted me to trust you and get me home, you looked out for me and I'm grateful for that kindness. Thank you.
[She's proud of herself for being able to stay calm and confident in her answer, even if she feels the complete opposite. Her tone is polite and she does mean what she says. She accepts that apology.
There's a crease in Vergil's brow that's all too familiar, even if she's never seen it on him before. He's anxious and she knows it too well from years of watching Nero.
It's somewhat comforting to see that Vergil's nervous. It's humanizing.
For all that he's matter-of-fact, there's something defensive about his words and she listens, her hands by her side, expression neutral. Something about this reminds her of being before a particularly strict teacher or an instructor, that her opinion at this point is insignificant and that she should listen and there will be consequences she may not like should she interrupt. So she listens, hearing him tell her that he doesn't expect her to accept his words and that he doesn't understand Nero's ability to forgive him and she finds herself wanting to laugh bitterly at that.
Nero embodies everything she was brought up to believe was holy. The Order may have fallen but her faith in what it was founded on, on the belief in a good world whose foundations lay in the example set by Vergil's own father for what it meant to fight for humanity, that faith has never shaken. She has to believe in the goodness in something, and it helps when people like Nero and Dante and all those who fight for the same thing exist to protect it. Listening to him now, talking about Nero's capacity for love, she suspects that he's probably right. He amazes her, and after last night, listening to him pour his heart out to her about the complicated journey he's been on to reach this point with his father, she's humbled by the strength and resilience of him anew.
Kyrie glances at her feet and tucks her hair behind her ears.]
I will listen to what you have to say and I won't interrupt, but I would like to ask that you offer me the same courtesy with whatever I have to say in response, and answer any questions I might have truthfully. Does that sound like a fair exchange?
no subject
Yes.
[It's fair. And it means it will be far less likely that uglier emotions will slip from him as it had that day with Nero. It still all worked out with Nero despite, but... Vergil was far less confident that would be the case with Kyrie. He tugs a little at his collar as he steps around to sit on the couch. Or, more accurately, he perches on the very edge of a couch cushion, holding his hand in front of himself with his elbows rested on his knees. He draws a few deep breaths, silent for the moment as he organizes his thoughts and tries to find the best place to begin. Nero said he told Kyrie everything, but there are things Nero does not know—things Vergil does not wish to speak of to anyone—and Nero likely holds his own biases as far as what he feels is important to be shared.]
I am not certain what exactly Nero said to you, but given that you're willing to hear me out, I imagine he told you I was dying when I attacked him. [Vergil draws another steadying breath before saying,] I had spent nearly the entirety of Nero's life in the Underworld. The specifics of what happened there matters little beyond that I was rapidly running out of time when I attacked Nero for the Yamato. I did not know who he was to me, but even if I had, I do not know I would have been in the state of mind to see more than an obstacle standing in the way of my survival.
[Vergil knows acknowledging that piece of information is not liable to win him any favors with Kyrie, but it was the honest truth he provided Nero when they discussed this before. He cannot provide a detail like that to Nero, but keep it from Kyrie.]
My intention was solely to reclaim the Yamato as quickly as possible before I lost the strength to wield it. Whether Nero lived or died at the time was of no consequence to me. [Vergil shakes his head a little and lifts his gaze back up to Kyrie.] I have not and will not apologize for prioritizing or desiring my survival. But there shall never be a day that goes by that I do not regret the harm I inflicted on Nero. Regardless of my reasons for it, the truth remains that I selfishly maimed him and left him to die.
[Swallowing thickly, Vergil's gaze drops to the floor for a moment before he makes himself look at her again. He doesn't particularly want to with the amount of shame and guilt that rise up within him, that will always be with him every time he thinks of that day in the garage when he stole the Yamato back. Nero has forgiven him. But Vergil? Vergil hasn't forgiven himself. He doesn't really think it's possible. The only thing he can do is not allow himself to dwell on it in such a way that he would chance missing out on what's in front of him. They moved past it. Together. But there's another sense of shame and guilt that comes up when he looks at Kyrie now, one that he doesn't know right now if he will be able to move past with her. A potential fact that he only has himself to blame for as much as he wishes there was something or someone else to heap it onto.]
I still almost took him away from you. And for that, I am sorry, Kyrie. [He purses his lips slightly.] I know what it is to have a loved one violently ripped away from you and to find yourself alone. It's... [Words fail him that Vergil almost feels he doesn't even know what he was about to say. He shakes his head a little, dismissing whatever the rest of that sentence would have been as unimportant and not the point.] I had no right to place you that fear within you that day, let alone possibly make you live through it. You did not deserve that any more than the physical harm Nero had to endure at my hand.
no subject
How strange, Kyrie thinks, that someone can look at another person and think of them not as a being with a soul and hopes and dreams and a will to live, but as an obstacle. It's even stranger to her that someone could think that way about Nero, the strongest person she knows. To just overlook him like that... how strong must Vergil be to be that assured of his own prowess, even while dying?
She knows. She knows from the stains she still can't scrub from the concrete even after months and buckets of bleach.
How broken a soul was he for him to admit that even if he had known Nero's relation to him, it would have likely made little difference to him?
It feels strangely impersonal and detached from the situation to be standing away from him but she's frozen where she stands, listening intently, her own expression schooled into as calm a face as she can muster. So much of what he says makes her blood boil and her fingers curl up into fists, the edges of her nails digging into her palms to keep her from breaking her word and interjecting in her anger.
He says he knows what it is to lose a love one. To feel alone. She's fortunate that through all her losses, through each heartbreak she's had to face in her life, she's never been alone. She's always had that one constant by her side from the time they were very small, always looking out for her, always protecting her and soothing away her pain. The pain of losing her parents, losing Credo, Nero's been with her throughout it all. And it's not just her, he's been there for their foster boys, for Kyle and Julio and Carlo. He's their hero. Their funny little found family depends on him as the protector, the goofball with terrible jokes, the one who throws a ball about in the yard, the one who checks for monsters under Julio's bed and promises to take out anything that comes out of the shadows. How would those children cope losing another parental figure? Kyrie's lived through that pain Vergil speaks of before, but it's only because of Nero that she's been able to survive it.
She still feels sick to the stomach at the thought of having to endure that agony without him.
True to her word, she holds her tongue and her place and continues to watch Vergil, waiting to hear if there's more to come.]